The Reason You Are Here

I have mastered insight meditation. I’ve even created my own variant of it, which I believe is better.

I’ve been to the “other side” at least eight times. I can answer any of the “big questions” — and indeed any question you choose to put to me. I squarely invite you to do so.

Every time I have come back, I have arrived within the same duality-reality you live in. Every time. It’s like going on vacation: when you come back, everything is still waiting for you, exactly as you left it. You still have to get up, you still have to go to work.

The difference is, when you’ve seen the alternative, you now know why you’re here.

You are here for one reason only: to experience sensate reality.

You are supposed to get up, and feel the air on your skin. You are supposed to know you have to go to work, and to feel that dip in your stomach. You are supposed to experience every sensation associated with every thought of everything you are about to experience that day. You are supposed to taste your lunch in dizzying three dimensions. You are supposed to see almost colour while doing so.

You are supposed to have a self. You are supposed to indulge that self in gratifying highs and demoralizing lows. You are supposed to feel everything that life deals you, in your gut. Everything you are scared of is supposed to be beautiful. Everything you love, you are supposed to love in that moment and that moment only, and to cherish that moment. You are supposed to be attached. You are supposed to cling. You are supposed to fall to the ground and thank reality for giving you the chance to feel what just happened in every organ of your body.

There is a self. It is permanent. And it does satisfy. It is you, and it is now. Be it. Become it. Be it more. And when you’re confused, be confused.

If you can just be everything you’re experiencing right now, you’re already enlightened. Enlightenment is a birthright. You have it. Be it.

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24 Responses

  1. Illuminatus says:

    P.S. You are completely immortal, if that helps you relax.

  2. Vick says:

    You seem to have come to the same conclusion as occultists/psychics.
    I read lots of books and material about the subject and they all pretty much say the same thing, what you just said.
    I think you might want to check out “initiation into hermetics” and
    They talk about physical, Astral and mental (immortal) body.
    I’ve been practicing it for a month but slacking off.

  3. Vick says:

    Also psychic powers are not the goal, but just a means to an end.

    • Illuminatus says:

      I checked out the link but there’s a lot on there. What practice are you doing, in brief summary?

      The psychic powers are a completely normal facet of non-dual reality, and switching to the right brain fully for a “trance” session shows you how completely ordinary they are, and how intention is actually the backdrop of all occurrences anyway, so you might as well use it to get the experience you want. It’s all part of this “thing” anyway, so you may as well make it part of your adventure, if having a high level of control appeals to you (some people are more content to let things “just happen to them” as their adventure; it’s a matter of taste really, but you won’t know until you ask yourself completely honestly — and the answer may change in future. This in itself is a worthwhile exercise). I’m working with students at the moment to get that right-brain trance script written up in a form that can be taught, then I’ll put it up here.

      As someone extremely lazy and not enjoying the “grind” most people believe has to go into any endeavour, I now use magick as my primary modality. E.g. I don’t approach women any more basically ever, but instead set up a template before the night out featuring ways a woman could approach me. Then I become “embodied” and just go out and let the scenario play out, arising in its own time exactly as it wishes (that is when to use the “embodied” mode of experiencing reality — after the intentions have been set). It works literally every time. My only word of advice in this respect is not to target anyone specific with this magick. There is a real moral element that comes into play, in quite an obvious way, if you do so. I have done it, back when I wasn’t sure if it actually worked. Then it did, with quite spectacular results, and never failed to bring with it the litany of causal implications of partially negating someone’s free will (and also the effects of manifesting the desperation and grasping desire that went into such an intention). Keep your intentions broad, able to be filled by a person who is actually looking for such a situation. That way you are both playing the game for mutual experience and enjoyment. This is how the “universe”/”reality” works anyway — people are always finding matches for their intent.

      Another example is going for some specific job. If you target one specific company and mind-control or magick them into definitely hiring you, you will almost certainly bring yourself troubles down the line — all the troubles of having inserted yourself into a position where you might not otherwise have fitted. There will be a sense of your not-quite-fitting-in in that role and resistances will arise, usually rapidly. So, intentions have to be kept broad and open, e.g. “I want to be found be a company in X field with Y pay range looking for someone exactly like me, where we can provide mutual benefit to one another.”

      I used magick openly, blantantly and obnoxiously a couple of weeks ago to win nearly $2000 USD in just 3 days playing online slots. I could literally tells the reels what to have on them, and it would just roll in. That experience taught me the real nuts and bolts of how to use visualization plus intention in combination with jhana states to create magick. The repercussions were similarly blatant and obnoxious — by choosing a path whereby I was providing value to no one and just taking from a faceless corporation, this was visited to me in kind over the successive 3 days and I lost about $1500 of that (ending $500 up — and up is up, but still). Also, there was all that time I wasted pouring into essentially a useless activity, and also the addiction to the gambling (but more intensely, the addiction to the JHANA — because they are incredibly mesmerizing and impressive at that level, with images appearing more real than reality itself).

      Basically, you become the intention you intend. That is the “cost”. You get exactly the experience you ask for and the one you are endeavouring along. “Everything is everything” because you are literally doing the adventure you are making up as you go along.

      Hell, I’ve basically written half the Basic Magick guide, here.

      • Vick says:

        Holly shit thanks for the detailed response. What you accomplished is pretty damn amazing, and you did it with only practicing the jahanas.

        The practice is basically the book, there are ten steps, starts from basic thought control, intention, impregnating air and food with idea and consuming it, through consciousness transference into people, animals and object, healing, and mastering of the elements. All the way to Astral and mental traveling, interacting with intelligences in Astral and mental realms and finally becoming one with god.

        On the website there’s a companion from a guy who actually went through the process, he talks about karma, reincarnation, in a Q&A section which is really interesting and seems like the truth.

        If you want I can upload the outline of the lessons when I get home.

        Also I’m really lazy and feel like modern life with that damn grind is a burden so customizing my experience will be great.

        • Vick says:

          By God I don’t mean in the religious way. God as in all encompassing consciousness, all the is, basically non duality if I understood correctly.

          • Illuminatus says:

            Yeah. It’s impossible to put into words what “it” (you, me, everything) “is” because words are inherently dual.

            Re the practice you just described, that sounds like very standard jhana magic, getting into 4th jhana then reaching up into the higher jhanas for utility in setting the intentions — for example, “impregnating the air” is the “space” you can feel in 5th jhana (Boundless Space) then the other bits you mentioned, e.g. the consciousness stuff, could be done with 6th jhana (Boundless Consciousness). I do most of my “fun” magick (e.g. the gambling) in 4th jhana but, for really big intentions (e.g. major life decisions on the “tree”) I will go to 8th jhana (Neither Perception nor Non-Perception) then build the visualization and intention from that zero point. I can climb through all 8 jhanas in like 30 seconds now lol, which is quite an attainment (apparently — but seems very normal to me now). In fact I only found out I could do it that fast this morning just out of curiosity.

            By the way I didn’t use “just jhana” for such magick, as some serious insight progress was being made at the same time (e.g. getting into the “non-dual” minds necessarily requires insight while also BEING insight simultaneously (it really is non-dual all the way down). I think samatha jhana and vipassana jhana are inherently linked, though the relationship is quite slippery to pin down exactly.

            One thing I loved thinking about today after reading your reply was the old Eight-Circuit Model. I hadn’t thought about it for a while, and realized I had all eight circuits (there is a relationship to both samatha and vipassana though it is not direct). I used to dream of the day I had all eight circuits “imprinted”, and realized that I got them anyway, necessarily, as a result of insight practice. I have a draft post written about 6 months ago where I list my attainments so people can check to see what level of insight (about anything) I am actually able to share (so, what I feel qualified for them to ask me about). It is quite a cute little list, where I say I think I might have two jhanas and things. 🙂 …Considering that within the 6 months following writing it, I got eight jhanas, First Path, and far more tech that simply isn’t in the literature. Such lists are themselves “intentions”, since you automatically begin visualizing the next levels on the list, preparing for them to drop into your reality. I recommend making such lists.

          • Vick says:

            Hmm interesting..
            I wonder if you actually have all the abilities described in iih.

            Can you separate the Astral and mental bodies?
            Can you read thoughts and past lives of others?
            See your own past lives?
            Real time weather control?
            Warm up your body or entire room in extremely cold weather, or cool them down?
            See aura and people’s character and diseases if any in it?

            Just a few examples from the book.

          • Vick says:

            Oh and yeah I’ve been a regular reader and was waiting to see if you get to the same conclusion as occultists have on your own path, as in greater self, we’re here to learn and evolve and all that Stuff. Pretty cool that you did :).
            It’s really amazing what you achieve in a relatively short time.

  4. lampa says:

    You are here because you choose to be here 🙂 I keep coming back because I want to come back and that’s all there is to it.

  5. James says:

    Your a wizard harry.

    Ha, happy for you Ed, looking forward to your guide. A few nights ago I got just the start of some fractals, making progress on this end 😀

  6. Illuminatus says:


    I went to extreme deep non-duality, hovering at the point just before fruition (“blinking out” — total non-duality, from which humans cannot bring knowledge back, hence why reality disappears). At the point I was able to remain, I saw that everything you just mentioned is literally created by awareness of those things. So, I was at the level before all of those concepts you just listed actually get created. That’s really hard to explain. But it became clear that, for example, “seeing the past lives of others” is entirely a creative act. “You” could do it, fade back into duality, and “reality” would have adopted what “you” created and it would appear to have always been that way.

    I did not explore others’ past lives in the content sense. However, I did see remarkable things like, how “I” (“it”/”the universe”) creates human forms (and indeed all animal forms). E.g. when you look at the shape of someone’s face and infer all their character traits based on the shape of their face — e.g. Koanic-style stuff like “big eyes = sensitive” — well that is actually “true”. The form does “determine” (we are slowly fading back into duality now) their emotions, and their emotions determine their form. It is like emotions carve form into “physical reality”. I also saw it going backwards through time, and forwards (in non-dual land there is no time, so these are shaky “dual” descriptions).

    If I inferred someone’s past life through following these forms, well in non-dual terms I am literally making that person and their past life in awareness by BEING aware of it. There is only awareness.

    What I am pointing at here, which is literally impossible to fully put into words (since words are dual), is that the “powers” you describe are a few levels above “total non-duality” in that they build upon previous assumptions/creations/”awarenesses” following from the point of “nothingness”. I can have those powers if it appeals to “me” at some point. They don’t really appeal to me at the moment. However, coincidentally, I was coming up with a method (while in a partial non-dual state) for viewing the lives of my own ancestors. This is by noticing that life passes through the umbilical cord which is in turn joined behind the mother’s belly button in a fractal repeating pattern (her with her mother’s and so forth). So I started to see this as a potential “wormhole” I could travel through to see the lives of my ancestors. I haven’t tried it in the very non-dual state yet, but really these things don’t seem that interesting to me at this point.

    So, talking in terms of what I can do in the “standard dual state” (“reality”), and forgetting that these are entirely creative acts:

    “Can you separate the Astral and mental bodies?”

    Not sure what this means so to conceptualize what you are saying would be a highly creative act for me at this point. So I’ll leave this one.

    “Can you read thoughts and past lives of others?”

    I have strong emotional telepathy (can transfer states to others extremely easily). I have so-so visual telepathy with certain people, meaning I can see images in their heads sometimes. I can occasionally get words but that’s rare. All of these are currently mostly involuntary. I can use magick to put thoughts in people’s heads but do not do so any more due to the moral implications revealed to me by having done so in the past.

    “See your own past lives?”

    Past lives question answered above.

    “Real time weather control?”

    The weather moves with my state strongly already; I have not tried intentionally controlling it, though. Again, this is something that simply does not appeal to me. I’m still learning what my strong interests are in The Powers. I am inclining towards using them to create a fully enlightened universe, or to have powers taken as a given by all people and exist in a kind, magickal society where things like benevolent telepathy is the main method of communication. “I” seem to still be enjoying a strong element of duality so I’m not inclined to end everything yet by having the whole thing become enlightened just yet.

    “Warm up your body or entire room in extremely cold weather, or cool them down?”

    Yes and yes. I was using “white lava energy” to heat up my extremities long before meditation. I also appear to be able to cure sickness with intention and am literally never ill (perhaps I will have a mild cold once every three years or so).

    “See aura and people’s character and diseases if any in it?”

    As described earlier I can see their “form” but have not grown this strength and taken it to the point of actually putting it to strong daily use. I get their “energy” very easily and aura in my opinion is just shunting that pathway to the visual cortex. It’s never appealed to me to actually want to SEE emotions around people though; but maybe moving their emotions out of my feeling body and into my vision might give me a more stable state. It would certainly lend itself very well to becoming more calculating and potentially manipulative, if you can “see” what they feel instead of feeling it yourself.

    Due to my strong state transfer I have instead, over the last few years, developed a “block” on feeling their emotions and instead feeling amazing, equanimous and happy and that then transfers to them. This is known sometimes as “charisma”. I do that using a combination of jhana to create positive, stable states, and mastering the territory of my own emotions via insight meditation over the years so they no longer bother me. I have achieved so, so much with this, going from someone essentially crippled by the emotional projections of others onto me, to becoming extremely stable and generally read as happy/”safe” by others. In Circuit terms, I’ve changed Circuit I to a safe script and Circuit II to moderate-dominant (not enough to attract direct attention/competition cues, but men will generally start mate-guarding when I’m around). Interestingly my ability to create conversational attraction with women went down noticeably after installing all these “safe/happy” scripts, because they like the push-pull of dominance/challenge. Attraction can be created in “grey zone” girls who are wired hard into the social hierarchy matrix (most of them, sadly) via such challenge, so I’ve started reintroducing a bit of that slowly to see what happens.

    • Illuminatus says:

      “Oh and yeah I’ve been a regular reader and was waiting to see if you get to the same conclusion as occultists have on your own path, as in greater self, we’re here to learn and evolve and all that Stuff.”

      I don’t necessarily think we’re here to “learn” or “evolve”; that doesn’t appeal to me because it assumes that that is being done as someone’s underling — like having a cosmic tutor. I remembered “I” am the fractal — I am everything. So to put someone above me (even though, as a creative act, that would then appear true) does not appeal to me; I would consider it a step backwards in my understanding, and harks back to mainstream ideas in religion of having an overseer god. This stuff all just comes from human social hierarchy programming so getting underneath that to something more basic was a step forward in my opinion. I know you didn’t necessarily mean all of that haha; but I think it was a point worth exploring.

      Regarding seeking “purpose”, that’s another facet of the human biology. When you return to duality-land, you will tend to filter your learnings through this programming as you move up the levels back to full duality. Since this is basically definitely going to happen, at this point you should choose your purpose as a creative act and choose one that you feel you will enjoy more going forward, and one that has less or more duality depending upon preference. So, pleasing an overseer god? That’s very dualistic because it creates dualism in mental concepts as well as in the physical realm. I like the “You are here to experience sensate reality” purpose because it keeps you more embodied and more enjoying your dualistic experience from more of a non-dualistic position. It’s got a nice balance of both. And you can stay sane by coming back to the body — that’s why insight meditation teachers recommend things like eating heavy foods and having sex to “reground” if you ever get lost in magick, too much concentration meditation, or the more jarring stages on the Path of Insight.

      I also quite like the “purpose” suggested in ‘Butterflies are Free to Fly’, which is: to experience a life of limitation. So, you were omnipotent and have chosen to experience limitation. And he then continues to say you start off intentionally highly limited, and discover over years through “undoing yourself” (e.g. by seeing through your limiting beliefs) to shed those limitations and become unlimited again. It’s like going slowly up a roller coaster hill (the struggle; learning the rules of the game) before reaching a peak then speeding down the other side back to unlimited power. It’s all a game you made for yourself.

      Since reading that book, it feels like my life has indeed followed that script (books script you — or do you script the books? 🙂 ). I mean, talking openly and matter-of-factly about “having powers” like this would have been unfathomable to me even a couple of years ago. It really does feel like I’ve gone past a tipping point recently.

      • Vick says:

        Yeah experiencing limitation does sound better.

        I read that book, twice, I really liked it but never put it into practice for some reason, probably fear.

    • Vick says:

      By Astral and mental bodies I mean Astral travel.
      Visit the Astral and mental realms, I read several books about them and they all described the same thing, the books came from completely different backgrounds too, I think it adds credibility.

      You can visit the akashic records and see past events and strong future probabilities.

      There are several Astral levels and then there are the mental realms, where no time nor space exist, also in both you communicate through telepathy, some beings communicate through symbolic images with no words, I don’t know if it interests you, to me it’s fascinating.

      ײI am inclining towards using them to create a fully enlightened universe, or to have powers taken as a given by all people and exist in a kind, magickal society where things like benevolent telepathy is the main method of communication. ײ

      From what I understand you won’t be allowed to do that, but I would like to see you try and your results.

      Well you got some cool powers, probably like you said you can easily learn new ones since you have the jhanas down.

      I think I messed up somewhere since I started dosing off during meditation and losing concentration easily, trying to fix it now and see what happens with iih.

  7. James says:

    “The point of being alive is living” – Bruce Lee.

    I read that once in a bookstore and it instantly shot me into a Jhana state.

  8. Vick says:

    ” I don’t approach women any more basically ever, but instead set up a template before the night out featuring ways a woman could approach me. Then I become “embodied” and just go out and let the scenario play out, arising in its own time exactly as it wishes (that is when to use the “embodied” mode of experiencing reality — after the intentions have been set). It works literally every time. ”

    “Instead, switch to a reality whereby you are imagining your writing flowing out there, giving people all these other worlds and experiences.”

    I assume you go into the fourth jhana and then visualize a universe where this stuff happens? put it the intention that this just happens now and this is how it is?
    I dreamt about my only fb breaking up with me and what do you know, she avoided meeting twice hehe

    • Illuminatus says:

      You just visualize the situation you want, in exquisite detail. I do this from 4th jhana or higher because there is no “emotional pull” there, so your normal responses to such situations are blunted — this is why magick/visualization skips limiting beliefs. This level of jhana also allows extremely clear images to be made. Add the verbal intention “I INTEND THIS.” Then go to places where it can manifest, and let it manifest.

      And remember all the moral stuff, since you will get what you ask for. Any desires made from a bad place will manifest that bad place along with the desires.

      • Vick says:

        yeah I’ll visualize me and girls having fun and leaving together, not any particular girl like you said.

  9. William says:

    Are you still going to make a “dumber and dumber” guide to insight meditation?

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