Mailbag: Oneitis, OCD, & Intelligence — and Myofascial Release!

PP writes:

I know this is a vague question, but do you think mentally healthy individuals get oneitis? Twice I tried to explain oneitis to a therapist and the responses I got were quite frustrating, implying that what I was experiencing was akin to a sexual fantasy caused by boredom, and not constant emotional torture. It almost seems like it should be a disorder recognized by mental health professionals. Also, I had two oneitises before and during my freshman year of college, which probably made the transition to college much harder in hindsight.

I think it’s a symptom of a brain inclined towards OCD tendencies.

You could have easily been diagnosed with OCD by that guy. Infatuation falls under OCD. There’s also this: Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

OCD is a Neanderthal condition, in my Neanderthal model — i.e. it’s caused by admixture with Neanderthal genes. I’m not too focused on my Thal model at the moment, though.

Do you have obsessive tendencies with anything else? I have lots.

Re your “diagnosis”, you must remember:

  • They don’t know what they’re doing. Ever. Mental health professionals are glorified box-tickers, and the forms are made by Big Pharma.
  • You are running up against a lot of social conditioning. “Oneitis” only got made up recently by the PUA guys. Before that, it was called either “infatuation” or “love” depending whether it was returned or not. And nobody mainstream seriously analysed love or sexual psychology before PUA guys did because it’s “mystical” and taboo to do so.
  • Compared to the mainstream, yes, we are weirdos. But then high intelligence is weird enough when it comes to the mainstream. Perhaps “normals” don’t get oneitis so profoundly because they cannot hold something in mind for long enough, or vividly enough, to have that effect on themselves?

PP replies:

I obsess about certain subjects (used to be obsessed with space and cars as a kid, now I spend a lot of time thinking about martial arts/fitness related stuff.) Whenever I encounter a problem I feel the need to think about it until I find a solution, and cant let it go until I do. I tend to hold onto old grudges and also fixate on negative memories (for example, memories of the oneitises that I mentioned in my last email.) Do you obsess about music you are composing, or things you write for PPM?

I obsess about music if I’m writing music at the time. I obsess over things that captivate me. If I get an idea or model in my head that captivates me, I begin exploring it obsessively, and start to see the entire world through that lens for the duration of the obsession. This definitely happened when I found Koanic’s Neanderthal model, and I’m only recently moving away from that. It inspired too much separation and, eventually, racism in me, so I swapped it out for a meritocracy model to keep me focused on people’s positive traits and abilities.

I also get obsessed with seemingly arbitrary things which captivate me. For example, I saw the film The Crow a few weeks ago. I hadn’t seen it since I was a kid, and I remembered really liking it back then. Well, this film just captivated me. The score, for one. I want to be a film composer. Hearing that reignited that dream. I spent the next few days reading everything I could find about The Crow, and listening to the score on a loop. I even found this other nutjob in real life who loved The Crow and he gave me the link to a podcast about The Crow (the universe tends to send you matches for your obsessions). There’s this song that comes on right at the end, the first song over the end credits, after he’s just been taken to heaven or whatever. It is just about the saddest song I’ve ever heard. My SAD had just kicked in properly (I tend to have a couple of minor peaks followed by a major peak as the dark nights get registered) and I spent about 2 days crying over that song. Music and art affect me intensely. It was a joyous sadness though. I can experience the full range of human emotion now without becoming dysfunctional, and that’s all thanks to insight meditation. For those few days, my entire universe was: The Crow.

(Update 06/02/2015: The following on fascia was later found to be irrelevant. Fascia corrects itself when muscles are corrected by aligning them properly via various methods. I do have a complete system now but it would likely require videos to explain properly. Ignore the fascia method; it’s pointless.)

Other things I obsess about are my posture. “Posture” is the wrong word. I’ve had tightened fascia around my shoulders and chest from two decades of computer abuse. This fucks up EVERYTHING. You don’t understand how connected the body is until you start playing around with this stuff. A tightened shoulder fascia up here can affect the looseness of all the ribs down there, and even all the way down to inhibiting the movement of one of the knees (which in turn affects the ankle and so on…). Esther Gokhale et al. would not come close to fixing these kinds of issues. I literally did not know how to release the fascia. This led to literally 5 hours per day trying various stretches. I’ve been living that way for over a year now. I’ve finally figured out how to do it: you lightly pinch the fascia (basically, what you think of as your “skin”) over the affected area and pull it away gently. In particular, do this to places where the fascia feels “tight”. While holding the fascia, you now move the impeded arm (or other joint) and very slowly and gently extend it to its correct length, or roll the shoulder back to its correct position – whichever action is required for the part you are correcting. You will feel the fascia literally slipping over the muscle (which it’s meant to), you might hear lots of clicks, then everything will settle back into its “true” position. There is usually an immense sensation of relief. This is insane. You can unlock an entire leg just by lightly pinching the knee fascia then extending the leg! Complete with crunches and cracks in every joint in that leg. Once I found out this technique, which was literally just last night, I corrected something like 90% of the remaining positional irregularities in the space of a couple of hours. It’s like that with a lot of things in life: you crack some bit of the code, then success just pours in. You might think, “I wish I could get that year back!” now, but that quickly passes when you realize you’ve got your entire future back in that area.

So, yes, you could say I have obsessions. But I generally think most of them are being poured into something worthwhile. I can now potentially fix someone crippled by bad posture in a matter of hours, if my techniques carry over to everyone else (which they should). In fact, I just showed my mum, who has painful arthritis in most of her joints, and painful rounded shoulders, the fascia technique. I had her pinch her shoulder fascia while performing the Esther Gokhale shoulder roll. There was a huge, sickening *crack* as 50 years of housework was released in one motion. She said she immediately felt better. Range of motion in the shoulder was about 200% more than it previously was.

Regarding PPM, that is more an outlet for the fruits of my obsession. It’s building itself as it goes. I’m not particularly obsessed with it, though I would like to get these basic guides done and up. Having this stuff as a purpose means I literally get up at 5:30–7:00am most days now, and feel motivated basically all the time. There’s no effort there. I don’t set an alarm, and I don’t have to “drag myself out of bed”. I wake up at 5:00am and start thinking about all the cool stuff I’m going to write today. The dopamine kicks in and now there’s no chance of me falling asleep again. After 30 minutes in the hypnopompic state letting the ideas form, I jump out of bed, turn on the PC and start banging away.

Whenever I read some article by some “executive” about how to retrain your brain to get up early, and how to do the right “affirmations” to start the day positively, I just think: you’re in the wrong fucking job, mate. I honestly believe most of the mental perturbations people put up with, and the schema they dream up to “overcome” those issues, just come from simple reasons like hating their job, or having no purpose in life. Of course, these things aren’t taught in school. Nothing important is.

Whenever I encounter a problem I feel the need to think about it until I find a solution, and cant let it go until I do.

This is typical left-brain stuff. The left brain is your “zoom in and analyse” tool. It’s like a magnifying glass, or a laser trying to drill into an object. I also see it like WinZIP, trying to “unpack” bits of the reality and return what it finds to the master model in the right brain. Intelligent people are always trying to complete their model of the universe. They are like a sponge for information.

With obsession, sometimes the left brain gets “stuck” unpacking one bit of reality. Sometimes it is justified staying on that bit, sometimes it’s not. It’s up to the right brain to keep collecting data about the bigger picture, and determine if this is a valid use of your time or not. This is when you start to get doubts about the thing you’re trying to solve. If enough data says it’s a valid project, you’ll keep going. If enough data comes in which says you’re wasting your time or neglecting more important parts of your life, the right brain initiates a “revolution” and pulls the left brain off the project. You almost always feel a sense of loss following such a renunciation. Loss is one of the main ways in which the right brain reorganizes itself, and mastery in navigating this territory is essential if you want to grow consistently. That’s what my How I Beat Depression – Forever post was all about, and it’s also what the Basic Depression guides will teach people how to do.

I think high intelligence means both brains are huge, and the corpus callosum is necessarily small in relation (I no longer think of this as a flaw). While obsessing about X, you get stuck in the left brain, unpacking till X is solved. If the corpus callosum were larger, we probably could not get these loops running long enough in the left brain to produce the kind of wonderful output we see in all the inventions around us. Similarly, we could not get them running long enough in the right brain to produce art.

The left brain is ridiculously powerful in high-intelligence people, and the stuff it comes up with is convincing to the point of delusion at times (e.g. oneitis). It’s supposed to be simulating potential strategies and outcomes so the right brain can select one to try (and this is all in an attempt to fulfil needs). However, those simulations can be so real they take on a life of their own – meaning they give so much fake sensory stimulation that basal areas of the brain can’t distinguish them from reality, and addictive loops are formed. What’s more, the right brain’s “stop” signals feel subjectively unpleasant compared to the left brain’s “go” signals, so people literally delay the revolution which should have ended the obsession a long time ago (and resulted in a “loss” period, which people are terrified of because they haven’t mastered the territory. “Ego” can be seen as that which attempts to avoid loss). OCD can be seen as a kind of Catch-22 situation where different brain areas are unwilling to give up their prerogatives – because to do so would induce a loss period, which is “unacceptable”.

High-intelligence people definitely need meditation and personal development methods in order to balance the brain hemispheres. They need to cultivate the ability to purposefully come out of left-brain mode, back into the right, to make an honest evaluation (“reality check”) and change strategy (or keep going if it gets the green light). This necessarily means being okay with loss (mastering the territory), else you’ll resist such revolutions out of fear of “feeling bad”. If you don’t learn this ability to come back to the right hemisphere for regular reality checks, then they will simply happen by themselves once the left brain burns out. You won’t be prepared, and you’ll feel it is happening “to” you. We see an extreme form of this in bipolar.

Back to oneitis, for a moment. The one good thing about oneitis is that it actually contains all your personal needs, packaged into one neat little delusion. It’s got all your little desires for recognition and intimacy, and potentially many more, all playing out in a single narrative. It’s like a dream in that regard. If you can learn to analyse it, you can pull all the data you need from it to know what you need to look at next in order to grow as a person. The thing about oneitis is, often it’s actually nothing to do with women. A oneitis is literally a map showing the location of all your currently unfulfilled needs, and where to start exploring in order to gain insight into yourself. I intend at some point to write a short e-booklet called The Oneitis Delusion, specifically showing how to analyse oneitis in the way I just described. I will definitely be charging for that one. One of my visions for PPM is that it has resources no one else has even thought to create. I want this to be a place you can come to to learn really specific things and strange, revolutionary ideas you simply won’t find anywhere else. I need to finish my basic guides first, though, which will all be free.

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24 Responses

  1. Rigz says:

    Could you go into a bit more detail on the fascia release technique? You said to pinch lightly, yet if I move a joint while pinching lightly the skin just slips out. Am I doing it too hard if the pinch registers pain?

    Also, how did Koanic’s model inspire racism?

    • Illuminatus says:

      The pinch shouldn’t register pain. What you will find is that most of the fascia will have a lot of “give”. But there are places on the body, where it has been abused, where it is tighter and won’t be able to be lifted away easily. What you do in this instance is start off by lifting a piece NEAR the tight bit — as close as you can get with it still having some give. Then move the joint. This will progressively loosen the fascia as it moves back to where it’s meant to be. Tight bits usually signify that the fascia has slipped to a position it should not be. Imagine the fascia as a sock. There is a predesignated shape for the heel. Now imagine you pull the sock around a bit so the “heel” bit is now not in the right place. The sock will feel weird and uncomfortable. But you can lift it away and rotate your foot so the heel bit of the sock aligns with your actual heel. We are doing this with fascia. So, if a bit is too tight to lift, start close by with a looser piece, and progress from there. You will start to figure it out once you get a couple of successes.

      Re Koanic’s model, well if you take it to its conclusion, Thal = good, Sapiens = bad. Africans have no Thal genes so it’s a good way to write off an entire continent. This can be convincing however due to Africa’s lack of achievement. Also, since 80-90% of the human population outside of Africa better represent the “Sapiens” type, Koanic’s model is a great way to feel isolated (and elitist) if you identify as “Thal”. I still think there’s probably some truth in it all, but we likely will never know unless we clone a real Neanderthal and see what they’re all about. On an individual level, these kinds of foci are negative and alienating. One of the major factors I consider when choosing a reality map to follow is how it benefits me. I don’t really believe in objective truth so I feel free to swap out a map if it’s not serving me well any more.

      • Rigz says:

        I’m having trouble finding anywhere that I can actually pinch and still move the joint without the skin slipping out of my fingers. Perhaps I simply dont have much elasticity in my skin

  2. Random fan says:

    I would like to see some video of that fascia pinching. I don´t get it.

    Btw, I take it you read Aeoli Pera? Fascinating Thalblogger:

    • Illuminatus says:

      “I would like to see some video of that fascia pinching. I don´t get it.”

      I won’t be making a video. The knee is the easiest demonstration. Sit down and place a leg in front of you with foot on the floor. Pinch the skin of the knee and lift it away slightly. Now, extend the leg while continuing to hold the skin. If I do this, the leg feels a lot looser, and I get pleasurable cracks in every joint from hip down to ankle. It seems like pinching the fascia temporarily stops it from moving with everything else and keeping muscles “stuck”.

      Meanwhile I found some more ultra-tight (perma-contracted) muscles in my shoulder joint — right on the “top corner” where the knobbly bone is. So where the “forearm” meets the “shoulder”. I can put my mind into those muscles and command them to expand (by visualizing expansion), while stretching downwards. This has now basically finished off my work in this area and I am pleased to draw a line under more than 3 years of focus on posture in general.

      “Btw, I take it you read Aeoli Pera? Fascinating Thalblogger:

      I had not heard of him until now. He seems ultra-smart, and will no doubt make a great contribution to the various models he is approaching.

      I had a look through, but I won’t be reading it any more for the same reasons explained above: on a personal level, these foci are not helpful for me. I tend to make the world’s problems my own, and since I cannot personally do much about them this just bums me out . That’s why I prefer Blackdragon-esque pragmatism, which goes something like: “Yes, we KNOW it’s all fucked-up, but I can still make MYSELF happy: here’s how.”

      • Random fan says:

        This is also a good model:

        Either obsess about a problem, or don’t worry about it.

        • Illuminatus says:

          That’s good. And in that vein, my contribution is going to be my free meditation and other emotional tech guides. I will explain where I’m coming from in terms of the Eight-Circuit Model:

          All the red-pill sites, and indeed all the blue-pill sheeple, whether conservative, liberal, or whatever, are all trying to solve problems from within the first four circuits.

          If the world collapses then “resets”, and we get “the swing back to K-selection” as per the “cycle of history” (according to various red-pill sites, and which apparently many of them want to see happen even though it necessitates some sort of horrific cataclysm), then the sliders will still simply have moved around on the first four circuits. Then the cycle will begin again and the sliders will move about until the next cataclysm.

          Every solution anyone comes up with, either red- or blue-pill, is all about just moving the sliders about on the first four circuits.

          What I want is to just make the leap to Circuit V and break this cycle for good. If everyone in the world got just a smidgen enlightened, hell, even if they just got to the first ñana, Knowledge of Mind and Body, most of the cunty primate war-monkey behaviour that is the hallmark of the human would go away.

          I think enlightenment should be the sole prerogative. It’s an actual solution.

          Yes, it probably won’t happen and is frightfully unrealistic and blah blah blah, but that is the only sociological project I will be contributing to. Everything else is just moving the sliders around on the primitive circuits and perpetuating the cycle of history.

          I would love to create some drug or mind-virus that could rewire people’s brains and get them off the old tracks quickly.

          • Rigz says:

            Don’t you think there is a danger of someone simply seeing their CV experiences through the lens of whatever beliefs they have? So for example a fundamentalist Christian seeing a rapture experience as “letting God into their heart” and their “sin” being “forgiven”

  3. Illuminatus says:

    Yeah. That happens post-experience when they rationalize what happened through Circuit III. It takes repeated exposure to Circuit V to get the multidimensional nature of reality to stick. Then you can start reimprinting the earlier circuits via Circuit VI (this is my current trip).

    So maybe I should revise my goal towards getting everyone at least up to Circuit VI. 🙂

  4. Rigz says:

    If you’re into the higher circuits you should try DMT.. I’m not sure where a high dose breakthrough DMT experience would fit on the circuit model however, likely beyond it entirely

    • Illuminatus says:

      I’ve got some AMT here in the house. If I’m honest though, I’ve been too scared to try it. I’ve read rather a lot of bad trip reports, and apparently the effects last at least 12 hours.

      I’ve got niacin here though, which DOES end hallucinations. I used it to break a bad MXP trip. That’s a story in itself. MXP blocks NMDA receptors which is responsibly for its numbing properties. Niacin causes hot flushing, which busted through that numbness to feel like a million papercuts, or severe sunburn, all over me. I was literally running my arms under the cold tap. It was this, and realizing I can’t get to enlightenment through drugs, that made me not at all remorseful to give up freak drugs forever.

      • Rigz says:

        AMT/MXP and DMT are a whole different class dude. DMT lasts 15 minute tops, and rarely results in a bad “physical” trip where something like numbness or pain would occur. Most people who have bad trips on DMT is because they are confronted with their demons, in a very visual and obvious way, much like in your lucid dreaming post. That being said, if you’re unsure its probably best to stay away from it entirely.

  5. UU says:

    I think you’re prone to gross exaggeration about fixing anyone’s posture with fascial release. Who would talk like that after knowing about such a technique for a few hours?

    “oh my leg feels great therefore I can fix anyone even though I’ve only tried it on my mum”.

    Disappointing because the rest of the site looks good. Now I know you’re prone to exaggeration+++, I have to modify what I’ve read on other pages.

    Get real man. People respect real.

    • Illuminatus says:

      The fascia technique turned out to be bunk and I planned to strike through the entry in the article — thanks for reminding me.

      I have since finished my system but it’s basically impossible to describe over text.

  6. Pogy says:

    Hey Edd, lately i’ve been annoyed by my tendency to develop oneitis VERY QUICKLY..especially I am currently in transition mode in terms of my life and many things are constantly changing..
    My oneitis tendency:
    1. Usually occurs when I’m in life transitions / lacking stuff to do (which i’m working on)
    2. Gets in the way of making life decisions (or relationship decisions)

    How should I deal with it? Short instructions will be fine as I know that you are planning on writing a guide for oneitis.

    Thank you!

    • Illuminatus says:

      Hi Pogy,

      I can only tell you what I think I’ve figured out about my own oneitis patterns, as it’s very difficult to get inside another guy’s head when it comes to such issues. Hell, it was hard enough to start to figure it out for my own situation. In other words, take this with a huge pinch of salt, and don’t assume my issues are the same as yours. Here goes…

      For me, oneitis is about trying to get 1) approval, 2) love and 3) security that I missed from my own mother. Approval seems to be the bigger driving force for me.

      I think in the case of trying to get approval, it probably occurs more in the case of guys having been raised by either a single mother or a mother and a distant, non-functioning father (which is basically the same thing as being raised by a single mother).

      The mother figure is supposed to provide unconditional love. The father figure is supposed to provide conditional love, whereby goals are met before love (approval) is bestowed. That is how the father figure is the guiding force, the leadership in a boy’s life (and probably why society falls apart once the number of single mothers goes up — creating lost, aimless boys). Worst case is where the mother tries to play both mother and father roles, which creates a trust issue: “unconditional love” one minute, then taken away suddenly the next and in its place something to be “earned”. The child never knows where he stands with his mother. These issues are made a lot worse the more insane/insecure/incapable of loving and being loved the mother is.

      So, for me, in oneitis I’m trying to get both approval and love from a woman (mother replacement), and I also have approval equated with love (so approval -> love).

      “lately i’ve been annoyed by my tendency to develop oneitis VERY QUICKLY..especially I am currently in transition mode in terms of my life and many things are constantly changing..”

      When circumstances are changing, an “unchanging point” is sought for security. So parents are supposed to be an unchanging pillar of strength. Those with good upbringing have that security “built in” from the good parenting (repeated demonstrations of secure, non-changing points). In this case you might get a oneitis during changing circumstances to try and make her your non-changing “secure point”.

      “1. Usually occurs when I’m in life transitions / lacking stuff to do (which i’m working on)”

      Well always have stuff to do, and always have a plan for moving forward even if it’s not perfect.

      “2. Gets in the way of making life decisions (or relationship decisions)”

      Don’t make any decisions based on the women in your life. Simple.

      The truth is, I haven’t cracked the oneitis issue for myself yet. My solution was to take a step back and stop going after women almost entirely since it was such a liability, and instead look at the other areas of my life. E.g. I’m moving to London shortly, and I’ve also been setting up a business stream (nothing to do with personal development) which could add a lot of “security” to my life, and I’ve also been composing backing tracks for artists which have been well-received, may lead to something in the future, and is helping with the “approval” issue.

      My main advice is not to ingratiate oneitis at all. Ignore it completely, don’t try to get those women, stop seeking approval from them (or anyone else), and work to become self-secure and self-sufficient. Focus on creating abundance in all areas of your life (and I’m actually putting women last on my list here, since focusing on women has led me to massively neglect those areas in the past). When you do start seeing women, follow Blackdragon’s rules and only see any particular woman a maximum of once a week. Oneitis feelings tend to skyrocket if you have sex with a woman on many days within a short period of time.

      • Illuminatus says:

        P.S. One guide I am writing is called Basic Emotions and one of its main purposes will be to provide instant quick-fix relief for any emotion.

        Oneitis tends to correlate with MISERY and here is the quick-fix I have found so far, from my notes:

        1) Drop jaw slightly.
        2) Open ears. (Exactly the same way your ears “open” when you yawn, and you can hear sound rushing in your ears — this is how to generate “current”).
        3) Let eyes roll back in their sockets and REM.
        4) Let breathing regulate by itself till it is regular.

        The “current” (air rushing in ears) will maintain during this process, and you will feel the “emptiness” feeling filling up.

        So, ignore oneitis feelings as much as possible and if the “emptiness” or misery feeling gets too intense do the above method, which makes it pass very quickly.

  7. Pogy says:

    Thanks for the quick reply. You’re quite on-point about the parenting figure part. My parents aren’t the best, but they’ve tried at least I presume. Lots of guilt tripping and never had much compliments. I guess I always yearned for some sort of compliments or approval from my parents but never got it might have something to do with this. The constant negging and only gaining attention when I’ve done something bad always get on my nerve as well. (ironically achievements never gained a single compliment..)

    Is there some sort of mental exercise you recommend doing or I should just start getting achievements elsewhere to get rid of approval?

    I already follow the blackdragon rules (quite strictly actually)

    • Illuminatus says:

      See the above exercise I just posted while you were writing your post. 🙂

    • Illuminatus says:

      One other major strategy I recommend is as follows. Make a firm deal with yourself that you will never get approval from others (really, most people don’t really care about anything beyond their own problems, let alone making someone feel worthwhile — being given approval was your parents’ job ONLY). Therefore, be diligent in recognizing your motivation in every action. The motivations are:

      1) Because it helps you.
      2) Because you enjoy it.
      3) For approval.

      Anything with a hint of #3 about it is probably wholly about trying to get approval. Don’t do it. Only do things for #1 and #2.

      The most dangerous thing in my relationships with women was when I started seeing the handful of women who actually DID give me the approval I craved. Some of them WILL do it (contrary to my first paragraph in this post), and in fact lavished me with it. Maybe they enjoy playing mother or something. But, to someone needy for approval, approval is like crack. And they hold the supply. So oneitis for those girls goes up in the stratosphere, and the power imbalance is enormous.

      So make the firm deal with yourself to not do anything for approval.

  1. December 31, 2014

    […] in a moment of vulnerability, to a disinterested, chronically sleep-deprived, federally approved box ticker and his legion of affirmative action hires. You know, like a nursing […]

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