Mailbag: Oneitis, OCD, & Intelligence — and Myofascial Release!
I know this is a vague question, but do you think mentally healthy individuals get oneitis? Twice I tried to explain oneitis to a therapist and the responses I got were quite frustrating, implying that what I was experiencing was akin to a sexual fantasy caused by boredom, and not constant emotional torture. It almost seems like it should be a disorder recognized by mental health professionals. Also, I had two oneitises before and during my freshman year of college, which probably made the transition to college much harder in hindsight.
I think it’s a symptom of a brain inclined towards OCD tendencies.
You could have easily been diagnosed with OCD by that guy. Infatuation falls under OCD. There’s also this: Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
OCD is a Neanderthal condition, in my Neanderthal model — i.e. it’s caused by admixture with Neanderthal genes. I’m not too focused on my Thal model at the moment, though.
Do you have obsessive tendencies with anything else? I have lots.
Re your “diagnosis”, you must remember:
- They don’t know what they’re doing. Ever. Mental health professionals are glorified box-tickers, and the forms are made by Big Pharma.
- You are running up against a lot of social conditioning. “Oneitis” only got made up recently by the PUA guys. Before that, it was called either “infatuation” or “love” depending whether it was returned or not. And nobody mainstream seriously analysed love or sexual psychology before PUA guys did because it’s “mystical” and taboo to do so.
- Compared to the mainstream, yes, we are weirdos. But then high intelligence is weird enough when it comes to the mainstream. Perhaps “normals” don’t get oneitis so profoundly because they cannot hold something in mind for long enough, or vividly enough, to have that effect on themselves?
I obsess about certain subjects (used to be obsessed with space and cars as a kid, now I spend a lot of time thinking about martial arts/fitness related stuff.) Whenever I encounter a problem I feel the need to think about it until I find a solution, and cant let it go until I do. I tend to hold onto old grudges and also fixate on negative memories (for example, memories of the oneitises that I mentioned in my last email.) Do you obsess about music you are composing, or things you write for PPM?
I obsess about music if I’m writing music at the time. I obsess over things that captivate me. If I get an idea or model in my head that captivates me, I begin exploring it obsessively, and start to see the entire world through that lens for the duration of the obsession. This definitely happened when I found Koanic’s Neanderthal model, and I’m only recently moving away from that. It inspired too much separation and, eventually, racism in me, so I swapped it out for a meritocracy model to keep me focused on people’s positive traits and abilities.
I also get obsessed with seemingly arbitrary things which captivate me. For example, I saw the film The Crow a few weeks ago. I hadn’t seen it since I was a kid, and I remembered really liking it back then. Well, this film just captivated me. The score, for one. I want to be a film composer. Hearing that reignited that dream. I spent the next few days reading everything I could find about The Crow, and listening to the score on a loop. I even found this other nutjob in real life who loved The Crow and he gave me the link to a podcast about The Crow (the universe tends to send you matches for your obsessions). There’s this song that comes on right at the end, the first song over the end credits, after he’s just been taken to heaven or whatever. It is just about the saddest song I’ve ever heard. My SAD had just kicked in properly (I tend to have a couple of minor peaks followed by a major peak as the dark nights get registered) and I spent about 2 days crying over that song. Music and art affect me intensely. It was a joyous sadness though. I can experience the full range of human emotion now without becoming dysfunctional, and that’s all thanks to insight meditation. For those few days, my entire universe was: The Crow.
(Update 06/02/2015: The following on fascia was later found to be irrelevant. Fascia corrects itself when muscles are corrected by aligning them properly via various methods. I do have a complete system now but it would likely require videos to explain properly. Ignore the fascia method; it’s pointless.)
Other things I obsess about are my posture. “Posture” is the wrong word. I’ve had tightened fascia around my shoulders and chest from two decades of computer abuse. This fucks up EVERYTHING. You don’t understand how connected the body is until you start playing around with this stuff. A tightened shoulder fascia up here can affect the looseness of all the ribs down there, and even all the way down to inhibiting the movement of one of the knees (which in turn affects the ankle and so on…). Esther Gokhale et al. would not come close to fixing these kinds of issues. I literally did not know how to release the fascia. This led to literally 5 hours per day trying various stretches. I’ve been living that way for over a year now. I’ve finally figured out how to do it: you lightly pinch the fascia (basically, what you think of as your “skin”) over the affected area and pull it away gently. In particular, do this to places where the fascia feels “tight”. While holding the fascia, you now move the impeded arm (or other joint) and very slowly and gently extend it to its correct length, or roll the shoulder back to its correct position – whichever action is required for the part you are correcting. You will feel the fascia literally slipping over the muscle (which it’s meant to), you might hear lots of clicks, then everything will settle back into its “true” position. There is usually an immense sensation of relief. This is insane. You can unlock an entire leg just by lightly pinching the knee fascia then extending the leg! Complete with crunches and cracks in every joint in that leg. Once I found out this technique, which was literally just last night, I corrected something like 90% of the remaining positional irregularities in the space of a couple of hours. It’s like that with a lot of things in life: you crack some bit of the code, then success just pours in. You might think, “I wish I could get that year back!” now, but that quickly passes when you realize you’ve got your entire future back in that area. So, yes, you could say I have obsessions. But I generally think most of them are being poured into something worthwhile. I can now potentially fix someone crippled by bad posture in a matter of hours, if my techniques carry over to everyone else (which they should). In fact, I just showed my mum, who has painful arthritis in most of her joints, and painful rounded shoulders, the fascia technique. I had her pinch her shoulder fascia while performing the Esther Gokhale shoulder roll. There was a huge, sickening *crack* as 50 years of housework was released in one motion. She said she immediately felt better. Range of motion in the shoulder was about 200% more than it previously was.
Regarding PPM, that is more an outlet for the fruits of my obsession. It’s building itself as it goes. I’m not particularly obsessed with it, though I would like to get these basic guides done and up. Having this stuff as a purpose means I literally get up at 5:30–7:00am most days now, and feel motivated basically all the time. There’s no effort there. I don’t set an alarm, and I don’t have to “drag myself out of bed”. I wake up at 5:00am and start thinking about all the cool stuff I’m going to write today. The dopamine kicks in and now there’s no chance of me falling asleep again. After 30 minutes in the hypnopompic state letting the ideas form, I jump out of bed, turn on the PC and start banging away.
Whenever I read some article by some “executive” about how to retrain your brain to get up early, and how to do the right “affirmations” to start the day positively, I just think: you’re in the wrong fucking job, mate. I honestly believe most of the mental perturbations people put up with, and the schema they dream up to “overcome” those issues, just come from simple reasons like hating their job, or having no purpose in life. Of course, these things aren’t taught in school. Nothing important is.
Whenever I encounter a problem I feel the need to think about it until I find a solution, and cant let it go until I do.
This is typical left-brain stuff. The left brain is your “zoom in and analyse” tool. It’s like a magnifying glass, or a laser trying to drill into an object. I also see it like WinZIP, trying to “unpack” bits of the reality and return what it finds to the master model in the right brain. Intelligent people are always trying to complete their model of the universe. They are like a sponge for information.
With obsession, sometimes the left brain gets “stuck” unpacking one bit of reality. Sometimes it is justified staying on that bit, sometimes it’s not. It’s up to the right brain to keep collecting data about the bigger picture, and determine if this is a valid use of your time or not. This is when you start to get doubts about the thing you’re trying to solve. If enough data says it’s a valid project, you’ll keep going. If enough data comes in which says you’re wasting your time or neglecting more important parts of your life, the right brain initiates a “revolution” and pulls the left brain off the project. You almost always feel a sense of loss following such a renunciation. Loss is one of the main ways in which the right brain reorganizes itself, and mastery in navigating this territory is essential if you want to grow consistently. That’s what my How I Beat Depression – Forever post was all about, and it’s also what the Basic Depression guides will teach people how to do.
I think high intelligence means both brains are huge, and the corpus callosum is necessarily small in relation (I no longer think of this as a flaw). While obsessing about X, you get stuck in the left brain, unpacking till X is solved. If the corpus callosum were larger, we probably could not get these loops running long enough in the left brain to produce the kind of wonderful output we see in all the inventions around us. Similarly, we could not get them running long enough in the right brain to produce art.
The left brain is ridiculously powerful in high-intelligence people, and the stuff it comes up with is convincing to the point of delusion at times (e.g. oneitis). It’s supposed to be simulating potential strategies and outcomes so the right brain can select one to try (and this is all in an attempt to fulfil needs). However, those simulations can be so real they take on a life of their own – meaning they give so much fake sensory stimulation that basal areas of the brain can’t distinguish them from reality, and addictive loops are formed. What’s more, the right brain’s “stop” signals feel subjectively unpleasant compared to the left brain’s “go” signals, so people literally delay the revolution which should have ended the obsession a long time ago (and resulted in a “loss” period, which people are terrified of because they haven’t mastered the territory. “Ego” can be seen as that which attempts to avoid loss). OCD can be seen as a kind of Catch-22 situation where different brain areas are unwilling to give up their prerogatives – because to do so would induce a loss period, which is “unacceptable”.
High-intelligence people definitely need meditation and personal development methods in order to balance the brain hemispheres. They need to cultivate the ability to purposefully come out of left-brain mode, back into the right, to make an honest evaluation (“reality check”) and change strategy (or keep going if it gets the green light). This necessarily means being okay with loss (mastering the territory), else you’ll resist such revolutions out of fear of “feeling bad”. If you don’t learn this ability to come back to the right hemisphere for regular reality checks, then they will simply happen by themselves once the left brain burns out. You won’t be prepared, and you’ll feel it is happening “to” you. We see an extreme form of this in bipolar.
Back to oneitis, for a moment. The one good thing about oneitis is that it actually contains all your personal needs, packaged into one neat little delusion. It’s got all your little desires for recognition and intimacy, and potentially many more, all playing out in a single narrative. It’s like a dream in that regard. If you can learn to analyse it, you can pull all the data you need from it to know what you need to look at next in order to grow as a person. The thing about oneitis is, often it’s actually nothing to do with women. A oneitis is literally a map showing the location of all your currently unfulfilled needs, and where to start exploring in order to gain insight into yourself. I intend at some point to write a short e-booklet called The Oneitis Delusion, specifically showing how to analyse oneitis in the way I just described. I will definitely be charging for that one. One of my visions for PPM is that it has resources no one else has even thought to create. I want this to be a place you can come to to learn really specific things and strange, revolutionary ideas you simply won’t find anywhere else. I need to finish my basic guides first, though, which will all be free.