Mailbag: Modafinil and DNA Testing
Couple of things:
- What made you stop taking modafinil, if you did?
- What’s a good, affordable place to get DNA tested like you did? I want to know whether I have some kick ass gene history.
I stopped taking modafinil for a few reasons. The first is that I was simply massively underwhelmed by its effects. I didn’t see what all the fuss was about. Some other minor reasons are that a) It was clearly somewhat addictive and I didn’t like being addicted to something that wasn’t all that useful/enjoyable. b) It made my piss stink. c) On the first night of taking it after not taking it for a while I would not be able to sleep. d) I found it difficult to cum.
However those are just the minor reasons. The major reason I stopped taking it was that it had some serious negative effects for me personally. The first is that it amped up my OCD tendencies, which were already pretty high to begin with. Modafinil basically enhances the function of the left brain, which can be said to be narrow-focused, systematic, conceptual, and verbal. It gets locked into singular tasks. My left brain was already dialled up pretty high (and it is only my ultra-strong, often disruptively-so right brain that stops me being a robotic Rainman and instead makes me a bipolar trainwreck. 🙂 ) Twelve years ago, long before modafinil, I once stayed up two days straight composing symphonies once I discovered the program FruityLoops. So, I have obsession built-in. On modafinil, a few incidents took place that rang alarm bells. One example was that I was showering one morning. You know how you have a set pattern of washing and rinsing which takes place in more or less the exact same fashion each day? One morning, on modafinil, for some reason, I got “stuck” on just the last part of my washing cycle. So I ended up washing and rinsing the same places (I won’t say where, haha) for maybe something like TWO MINUTES before realizing what the hell was going on and managing to snap myself out of it. Two minutes might not sound like a long time, but for something that should have taken about 5 seconds and that was not of much importance whatsoever, to be stuck in a loop like that was very jarring for me.
Similarly, when writing emails or even texts I would obsess over the syntax to degrees even higher than I already do. I would spend something like five full minutes just trying to exactly describe in words the thought or scene I was picturing. The writing actually suffered for it, too — reading it back it was more clumsy and robotic.
Also, I literally got tunnel vision. I.e. the outer periphery of my vision was at times absent, or I would have to actually think about it in order for it to fill in.
I had similarly disappointing results with other “super-drugs” such as the racetams, though for very different reasons. If these drugs actually help improve people’s mental functioning, I can only guess in despair at the vividness they lack without them.
My all-time rated drug for just getting something done? 3,4-CTMP. But it’s super-dangerous, and was made illegal practically the minute it was invented. It was possibly the world’s strongest psychostimulant at the time — seven times stronger than Ritalin and twice as addictive as cocaine, allegedly. I have a whole chapter dedicated to it in one of my forthcoming books, describing all the stupid shit I did on that drug — including [spoiler removed]. Still, at least that drug was SUPER fun and pleasurable at times.
Re getting your DNA tested, I only know of 23andme.com and I paid, I think, £125. They don’t tell you much because the FDA made them stop giving results that constituted “medical advice” so you have to download your raw data and submit it to other sites such as codegen.eu. My genetic profile was fairly boring to be honest. It was mainly what I expected it to be.