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Author Topic: observing versus experiencing emotions  (Read 1560 times)  Share 

cat

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observing versus experiencing emotions
« on: September 25, 2012, 04:56:31 PM »
After practising EAM (few months), radical honesty (a month), I started to feel quite mindful, more present and recognized a lot of patterns in my actions and thoughts. However recently, I had following comments:

- my ex girlfriend: "You used your mindfulness against me. You live and speak according to the books you read. You lost your simpliest natural tenderness."

-a girl that I slept with: - "I dont feel like you are touched by me. It looks like nothing is affecting you deeply"

I also had a dream: my mother was crying and I kept playing with my mobile phone. I felt like I didn't care.

Then I started to question my practice: Am I actually avoiding experiencing the emotions fully in the name of observing them and equanimity?

After that, I found the following article in the net critizising mindfullness:

http://mindfulconstruct.com/2011/02/04/17-ways-mindfulness-meditation-can-cause-you-emotional-harm/

Thanks for commenting if anyone had similar issues or thoughts on this.

Illuminatus

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Re: observing versus experiencing emotions
« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2012, 07:03:00 PM »
I actually now just let thoughts/emotions go, rather than focusing on them at all. I just let them fall down the central axis of my body, and out of the bottom of my torso. Good posture facilitates this. I also only meditate like this, now, letting go of thoughts, overlays and emotions as they arise. So that is my current practice, and has made the happiest out of everything so far.

Regarding these girls' comments, I really would not take them too seriously. Girls will say all sorts of things to try and get an emotional response from you, because they seek emotional investment from men the most. Translation: "You are not paying enough attention to me!" Yet, paradoxically, this challenges her and keeps her interested in you longer. Women get bored quickly of men they can control.

Regarding that article, it looks like garbage to me. For example, none of the 6 points of what they claim mindfulness is "supposed" to be resembles my practice of just letting thoughts and emotions go. In fact, I just skimmed some more, and they don't know what they're talking about whatsoever.

aelephant

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Re: observing versus experiencing emotions
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2012, 02:12:19 AM »
Regarding these girls' comments, I really would not take them too seriously. Girls will say all sorts of things to try and get an emotional response from you, because they seek emotional investment from men the most. Translation: "You are not paying enough attention to me!" Yet, paradoxically, this challenges her and keeps her interested in you longer. Women get bored quickly of men they can control.

I've been coming back to this recently myself as well.

Usually I will comply with a request or suggestion, but I decided that I will now ignore / refuse "randomly" just to keep things interesting. Typically it doesn't matter to me one way or the other & I assume things will be "easier" or "smoother" if I just go with the flow, but the problem is that women are so fickle that "the flow" might turn out to be being jerked from one extreme to the total opposite from moment to moment.


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