This blog is now an archive

This is the old blog. It is only being kept up for archive purposes. The new website/blog can be found here: http://www.personalpowermeditation.com/

The reason for the switch can be read here: http://www.personalpowermeditation.com/welcome-to-the-new-ppm/

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Is the population becoming more infantile?

This is a pattern I’ve noticed recently here in the UK. I wonder if you’ve noticed the same?

The population is becoming, and being encouraged to become, more infantile.

Clues:

  • Onesies. WTF?! Yes, full-grown men and women are wearing animal outfits designed for babies.
  • On adverts, notice the plethora of CGI fluffy animals used for advertising absolutely anything regardless of relevance to the product. Also notice how children themselves are featured prominently as authority figures in many adverts, talking down to adults who comply without question.
  • Notice how newsreaders, advertisers and other public voice artists now speak to their audience. It is now slow, painfully enunciated, and completely dumbed-down.
  • Signs everywhere! I cannot leave the house without being told-off at least 500 hundred times. I need to be reminded not to commit violence against staff because… I’m 2?
  • A million nannying laws protecting me from myself — the government interfering in every aspect of my life, like an over-coddling parent.

So I just noticed that nannying is not just in the government — it’s in the media, in our fashions, in our culture writ large.

The Cycle of History

The cycle of history seems to be:

  • Growth, prosperity, decadence then entitlement, then learned helplessness and dependence upon the state, followed by…
  • Some catastrophic event (e.g. war) which forces people to rediscover their sense of initiative, autonomy, community and self-reliance, which leads to…
  • Growth, prosperity…

And where in the cycle are we, at the moment?

Posted in Current Affairs, Politics | Comments Off

Creating “Success” and “Failure” Stacks

The following is a repost of a reply I made on the forum in this thread.


This woman is not emotionally blocked at all: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dFVFJ0iRRA

Since her entire presentation is founded upon anxiety — and fostering anxiety in the viewer — I’m not sure she is a good example of a person without social anxiety. I mean, this is a classical lesson in purposefully transferring anxiety to an audience, since fear is probably the easiest way to rally people to your cause. (Anger would take second place, and she is putting plenty of that out, too.)

The thing about fear is that the biggest, most urgent fear will take precedence in your mind over any smaller fears. So, since she is so focused on her “primary fear” of societal collapse, and she is tuning into that in a big way in order to create the desired effects in the viewer, if she does have any social anxiety ordinarily in her life then it is completely irrelevant during this presentation since she is tapping into her “primary fear” which will de-prioritize social anxiety and knock it completely out of her focus and awareness (thus: she won’t experience it). To consider this further, imagine you ordinarily have massive social anxiety — but you just found out a bomb was about to go off in a room full of people. You would find it rather easy to run in and blurt out “THERE’S A BOMB! EVERYBODY OUT!” regardless of your social anxiety, because the pressing matter would consume your focus entirely.

In fact, it’s fair to say that changing your focus is the primary method of not experiencing social anxiety. In my book The End of Social Anxiety I’ve given the reader things such as meditations, watching and “fading” overlays, and purposefully feeling good, in order to change their focus to something other than social anxiety. A lesson from the “feeling good” side of things would be to imagine you just got some really good news — a job promotion, or winning the lottery (if that’s a desire you have), or some other event that would elate you. Now, walking into a crowded bar or party or other social gathering, you aren’t likely to experience social anxiety whatsoever as your focus is consumed entirely by the good feelings and positive opportunities your good news has brought to your attention (so you might be cycling through scenarios of how to spend your new money or whatever, and this would consume your focus completely).

This sort of thing actually happens regularly — people have great social experiences while their focus is on positive things. The problem however is that people with an unhealthy focus on what they perceive as their “social anxiety” will later, at some point, have their “despair cycle” triggered again, which causes them to forget their good experiences entirely as they once again begin to dwell on their “condition” and therefore experience the memories and thoughts which support that stance.

The human memory is rather fickle. When you feel good, other positive memories connected to that feeling are made easily available to you. When you feel bad or in despair however, the memories related to those feelings are more readily available instead. The memories you have most readily available to you at any time are the ones which provide evidence to support your current emotional state. This is why meditation is an important and effective “breaker” for this cycle: by calming your own emotional state, the “bad” memories no longer wish to surface so urgently. The key to breaking the back of any kind of depression or anxiety is therefore to begin collecting positive experiences which support the self-image you wish to hold of yourself. Meditation and other personal development methods and techniques are simply there to calm your emotions and keep you focused long enough to gain those positive experiences.

A great little technique I was told recently by a friend in real life who is a business coach and personal development enthusiast was to create two “experience stacks”: Successes and Failures. His idea was that people generally just have one “stack”, and all their experiences get kind of thrown onto it. Since humans are generally predisposed towards focusing on negatives (which many scientists believe is an evolutionary survival adaptation), their negative experiences dominate this stack. Take a few minutes now to mentally catalogue your recent experiences (over the last few weeks or so) into two stacks: Successes and Failures. Get that Success stack really vivid and strong. The idea now is, when you are entering introspective thought cycles, to begin to train yourself to access your Success stack first. I can confirm that, with practice, you can begin to do this quite quickly and get your Success scenarios to be the first things that pop into your mind whenever you are introspecting or your self-image is called into question.

Posted in Anxieties & Phobias, Depression, Emotional Management | Comments Off

How to Enjoy Your Life

The following question was posted recently on a seduction community forum in a thread entitled “What are the best 10 tips to enjoy your life more?” (note that the spelling and grammar are the poster’s own):

You are ready to start enjoying your life? Do you feel like you constantly stressed about things and want something different you can do yourself?

What follows is the reply I posted, with some tidying and a couple of extra points added.


1) Fix posture (tuck chin). Here is some science behind why this is important.

2) Fix diet to remove allergens you may personally suffer from (trial and error, but dairy is a good place to start), and make sure you eat enough of the right foods to get the vitamins you need. Protein seems to be important in my experience.

3) Take measures to deal with any ill health as best you can. If you suspect a medical condition, just get it checked out by a doctor. Additionally, regular exercise, even just 15 minutes a day, will make many health- and mood-related issues disappear.

Physical health is the bedrock of happiness. Without it, all the psychological tricks and methods in the world won’t shift your baseline happiness in a positive direction. Yes, tucking your chin (particularly if you use computers all day) can fix what dozens of self-help books won’t even touch!

4) Cut ties with unsupportive people. Particularly for many younger guys, move out of your parents’ house if the situation is anything less than great.

5) Cultivate relationships with supportive people and mentors. Girlfriend(s) can be a powerful part of your support network, despite the various decrying of this as “neediness” you may experience in the seduction community. For young men, it is also extremely important that you find older male role models (mentors) to learn from and mimic.

Emotional health is the second most important part of happiness. Without this, your higher-level endeavours are pretty much doomed to failure. Emotional health comes from your social network. Sorry, you really can’t go it alone in life, despite our current culture of individualism and (faux) personal empowerment! This is encapsulated well in the phrase “no man is an island.”

6) Focus the mind on things which bring you personal fulfilment (you will figure these out as you go along). Simultaneously move attention away from things which do not bring fulfilment or which bring harm. The message here is move attention from bad to good, rather than fighting bad things (which just feeds them even more).

When you place your attention on something, you get more of it. Fed up with your job? That attention of “being fed up” will actually bring you more of “being fed up”. Instead, just leave things behind.

7) Balance idealism with acceptance of your current reality. This leads to the emergence of pragmatism — perhaps your most vital skill. Pragmatism means pursuing your dreams whilst still having grounding in the knowledge and acceptance of what can/cannot be done. This point is where many guys in the seduction community fail. They dream big (because they’ve been told “anything is possible” by the personal development industry; and because they spend too much time in their own imagination already) then get upset at anything which indicates the dream might not be attainable. They are not grounded in reality. Changing reality is a slow process. This leads to my final point…

8‌) Take your time! Chew your food more slowly. Wake up earlier. Enjoy your walk to work. Assign time (and lots of it) to each thing you do. Most endeavours take time to bear fruit. Yes, life is short, but by following this simple advice, you can create time (or at least the illusion of more time). Since learning to take my time over everything, via becoming mindful of myself, a year for me now seems to last ten years.

The studious among you may notice a similar structure to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (or even the Eight-Circuit Model of Consciousness for the really avant-garde ) emerging. What I have written was not “designed” to follow either of these models, and is drawn entirely from my personal experience, but the fact it has ended up reflecting these structures does highlight the ubiquity of the human experience, in my eyes.


Finally, I wanted to add one more thing. If you are currently depressed, this may well negatively affect your motivation to the point whereby it is difficult to get any of these things done. In such cases, I fully endorse speaking to a doctor and being prescribed antidepressants for a short time, and using these drugs as a “springboard” off of which to get the other things done.

I am not endorsing being put on antidepressants so you can then sit at home and “feel good” all day (and then not bother doing anything else with your life). That would go against everything this website stands for. I am however recognizing that depression has the tendency to zap motivation completely. Antidepressants in this case may well give you the motivation you require to start exercising, fix your diet, and create new personal relationships — things which are going to serve you positively going forward.

Posted in Depression, Eight-Circuit Model of Consciousness, Emotional Management, Health, Relationships, Seduction, Social Dynamics | 6 Comments

Review: ‘Minimal Game: The No-Nonsense Guide to Getting Girls’ by Aaron Sleazy

Introduction

Minimal Game: The No-Nonsense Guide to Getting Girls is a beginner’s guide for men wishing to learn efficient ways to meet and begin sexual relationships with women. It assumes no prior knowledge of seduction. In fact, it assumes the reader has very little knowledge of many aspects of the social realm, such as basic fashion and common-sense views regarding women and relationships. This is a good thing in my opinion, as many guys who find the seduction community really do have limited knowledge of such things which more socially-savvy people take for granted. This level of hand-holding is often required yet seldom provided.

Minimal Game follows on from Sleazy’s previous work, the free e-book Debunking the Seduction Community, which ended with a short guide on seduction and the promise of an expanded version in the future. Minimal Game delivers that promise. Thankfully, in Minimal Game, Sleazy has not continued the community-bashing which characterized Debunking and many of his more recent writings. Minimal Game is therefore entirely focused on teaching seduction and it achieves this aim very well.

Who is it for?

Minimal Game is for two types of people:

1) Guys who feel confused and misled by the seduction community. If you have all the “pickup knowledge” in the world yet your results don’t quite match up with that self-image, Minimal Game is definitely the book for you in order to make a fresh start. It will help clear out the garbage which has been put in your head by product salesmen and people who are delusional or just plain wrong.

One major message of the book, for example, is that you cannot get every girl to like you. This goes directly against the grain of a seduction industry which, for the last 15 years, has been selling men the idea that they can get any girl they want if they just get their “game” tight enough. Sleazy instead allows you to draw a big sigh of relief by relieving you of this impossible responsibility. He explains that, actually, some girls will already be interested in you (for whatever reason), some will be ambivalent, and some simply won’t be interested in you at all. He calls these groups the “green zone”, “grey zone” and “red zone”, respectively, and explains that there’s nothing much you can do to turn the “red zone” girls around. Your time is therefore better spent on the “green zone” girls who already like you. Sleazy provides ways of determining quickly if this is the case, for example by touching her in an innocuous manner and gauging her reaction. Sleazy’s advice if the girl is not interested is simply to move on and find somebody else. Sleazy places a lot of focus on learning to use your own time efficiently by only pursuing strong leads, as he feels many guys end up wasting a lot of their time on dead ends.

Another major message of this book, which ties strongly into the previous point concerning green-, grey- and red-zone girls, is that your looks do matter. Sleazy explains that “game” is not the great leveller we have been led to believe, and therefore that improving your looks should be made a top priority. Thankfully he goes into great detail on how to do this step-by-step, providing basic steps for fashion and grooming, and solutions to fix common problems with your looks.

2) Guys who are starting out brand new in the area of improving success with women. If someone had come along and handed me this book 10 years ago when I was first typing “how to get girls” into Google, my life would have been very different. The wisdom in this book is so simple, yet so accurate, that it is the sort of thing fathers should be telling to their sons when they come of age.

Sleazy explains the basic attitude one should have toward women and sex. He explains that women are sexual beings and that they enjoy sex as much if not more than men, and that a woman’s interest in you as a man is primarily sexual. He also hammers home the point that plenty of women are out there looking for sex right now and all you have to do is go and meet them. Sex is a numbers game, and if one woman is not interested, there are plenty of others who are. Sleazy highlights some common socially-conditioned beliefs men have about women which may hinder their progress. Even though I have been involved in the seduction community for a long time, Sleazy’s clear descriptions of such beliefs (and his direction to drop them immediately) pull no punches, and even I was caused to sit up a few times with the distinct feeling that someone had just poured cold water down my back. For this reason, even if you have been in the seduction community for some time and are generally doing well with women, you may still benefit from this book.

Sleazy then covers all the foundations of becoming attractive to women, including fashion, grooming and looks, and how to have basic interests in life to talk about which will make you stand out from Average Joe. Sleazy then instructs you in the basics of approaching women and beginning an interaction with them, including the aforementioned methods to ascertain her level of interest. He talks about how to lead an interaction in a sexual direction from the very start via touching and how to go about asking her to leave the venue with you. He also provides a backup plan for taking her contact details and arranging a meet-up if extraction is not possible right away. Finally, Sleazy ends the book with a short guide on how to establish longer-term relationships with women, and talks about the relationship options available to you, including non-traditional arrangements such as “friends with benefits”.

How to read this book

With other personal development books, you may have become accustomed to picking and choosing which bits are of interest to you and pursuing them, whilst ignoring or glossing over the bits you believe you already have handled.

I highly recommend that you do not take this approach when reading Minimal Game. If, as a seduction student, you were to ask me which bits to focus on, I could only reply: “All of it.” The book really is minimal at only 92 pages, and this comes as a result of Sleazy having literally stripped away everything which is not 100% necessary. What you are therefore left with is only things which are essential. Chapters such as “Foundations” for example read as a literal checklist for a man on the basics of becoming attractive.

I therefore urge anyone reading this book, especially newcomers to seduction, to take their time and really consider each point Sleazy discusses. It is all too easy when reading a self-help book to skim a paragraph, think “I’ve already got this area handled”, and move on without really looking into whether or not this is the case. I have to make this point quite clear, because I have met up with several guys from the seduction community in the past and commonly found that each guy has at least one basic area where they are simply not doing what they are told. Fashion is usually the first victim. If you show up wearing Dad’s jumper and trousers, of course you’re not going to pull. Haircut and grooming is another area often overlooked. Yet some guys are either completely unaware of how they look or think that they are somehow special and these rules do not apply to them. As I have already said, nothing in this book should be considered optional. Work through it like a checklist, dedicating time to each point. Even if it takes you 3 months to work through them all (which could happen if, say, you are heavily overweight), you have to do it or you are leaving yourself at an unrecoverable disadvantage, and no amount of “game” is going to help you.

This book is truly minimal, with the consequence that nothing is optional.

What does the book not cover?

Minimal Game is written entirely from the perspective of a single man who has had a lot of experience with women. Therefore the book is almost entirely based on observation and the simple rules Sleazy has learned. By only writing about what he has observed, Sleazy avoids indulgences such as attempting to interpret women’s psychology, or trying to explain behaviour of either sex by invoking biological theories or evolutionary psychology. This will be a breath of fresh air for many readers who are used to would-be Charles Darwins offering pages upon pages of conjecture. There are a few reasons why such opining is unhelpful, in my opinion:

1) Such theories are usually extremely difficult to prove and are conjecture at best, although they are often presented by the writer as fact.
2) The “why” of behaviour is frequently misidentified even by the actor of that behaviour. Therefore even convincing-sounding arguments are often wrong.
3) The “why” of behaviour is unimportant from an operational perspective (despite how badly your brain wishes to apply the rule of cause and effect to every event it experiences), and often only serves to distract and confuse the point.

We are therefore often better off just looking at actions and their consequences and leaving the “why” behind. Minimal Game is written entirely in this vein.

The fact that Minimal Game is based only upon the personal experience of Aaron Sleazy does, however, give rise to an inevitable problem, which is that the book fails to address issues which Sleazy himself has not personally had to face. For example, it is my observation that a significant proportion of men finding the seduction community have problems beyond just their relationships with women: they commonly have issues relating to other people in general, on an emotional level. My idea explaining this is that the seduction community attracts largely an audience of technical- and analytical-minded men who have for various reasons neglected their own emotional growth and are now somewhat out of step with the rest of society (except when dealing with other men who are quite similar to themselves). Sleazy does not address how one can go about cultivating such emotional intelligence which, in my opinion, is fairly essential to have when interacting with women. As a corollary to this issue of basic emotional intelligence, a section on general social skills would also have been welcomed.

Another common issue facing men is anxiety, either specifically around women, or in a broader social context. Sleazy’s proposed solution to anxiety is only to pursue girls who have shown some initial interest in you. The idea behind this is that it is less of a psychological hurdle to approach women who seem interested. In my opinion however this won’t be true for everyone. This solution also does not indicate what to do in situations where a man’s anxiety is literally overwhelming him to the point where he cannot approach. This issue is common enough to fall within the scope of the book, in my opinion.

Again, the reason for the omission of coverage of these issues is that Sleazy himself has not personally had to face them. Sleazy himself has indicated in other materials that he was emotionally balanced and socially capable before beginning his adventures in seduction. It is understandable therefore that he would not want to speculate on solutions to problems he has not faced. In this case however, acknowledgment of the issues followed by directions to further reading may have been a fair solution.

Conclusion

Minimal Game is aimed at men of all skill levels in the field of seduction. However, in my opinion, this book is most suitable for complete beginners, up to an intermediate level.

Men who already know what they are doing with women will find that the book will clarify and consolidate their existing knowledge. It will also improve their ability to teach it to others. However, the book’s lessons are so fundamental, that to get anywhere with women on a consistent basis you would have needed to know the information in the first place.

For beginners to intermediates however, Minimal Game is simply the best start-up guide to seduction I have ever read. If I ever have a son, he will one day become the proud recipient of my by-then dusty and tattered copy of Minimal Game.

Availability

Amazon.com (Paperback)
Amazon.com (Kindle)

Posted in Relationships, Reviews, Seduction, Social Dynamics | Comments Off

Review: ‘8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back’ by Esther Gokhale

This review covers the book 8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back: Natural Posture Solutions for Pain in the Back, Neck, Shoulder, Hip, Knee, and Foot by Esther Gokhale, as well as Esther Gokhale Method and its associated products as a whole.

Esther Gokhale Method is a system of exercises for improving posture and relieving back pain. The method is described in full in Esther Gokhale’s seminal book 8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back. The premise of the book is straightforward: Around 90% of people in post-industrial countries will suffer from back pain at some point in their lives. However, in some pre-industrial societies, back pain is virtually unheard of. Esther Gokhale (pronounced “Go-clay”) travelled to these societies to find out what they do differently to mean they don’t get back pain. Her travels took her to Burkina Faso, rural Portugal and fishing villages in Brazil. She took lots of photographs while she was there which are presented in the book to show us what “proper” posture should look like.

I was not sceptical of Gokhale’s message going in. I have suffered back pain in some form since my late teens (I am now 27). This pain has become progressively worse over the last few years as my computer use has increased due to my work. Esther Gokhale was first brought to my attention by Personal Power Meditation forum user realitygrill. I found the following video of a talk Esther gave at Google about her method, and I recommend you watch it from start to finish if back pain and bad posture is something you suffer from. This video gives a detailed overview of her method and philosophy, and she also teaches the “Stretchsitting” technique for good, pain-free posture while sitting down for long periods.

Attractiveness

On watching this video, one thing I was immediately impressed by is that Esther Gokhale herself clearly embodies her own principles regarding good posture and appears healthy and vivacious as a result. The rule I gleaned from this is simple: good posture increases human attractiveness.

Upon receiving the book, this rule came to play a bigger role in my life than I ever predicted. The book is so effective at drilling into you the basics of good posture that, for the next several weeks, posture came to be a lens through which I viewed the world. I began seeing anyone who entered my visual field in terms of “good posture”/”bad posture”. This was interesting because I found that the people I saw as having “good posture” happened generally to be the same people I would have rated highly for attractiveness and personal power anyway. In other words, I came to realize just how much my first impressions of people were influenced by my (until now) unconscious analysis of their posture.

Personal Power and Mood

This postural investigation had huge personal repercussions as well. Once I began implementing the new techniques I had learned from the book (and the publicly-available YouTube videos) I felt a new sense of personal power and improved emotional management stemming directly from my adjusted posture. I talked about these psychological changes in several posts on the forum, but I will summarize them here: Standing up properly seems to improve emotional flow on a vertical axis running from the base of the spine to the crown of the head. When standing up properly, thinking becomes far more clear. Emotions seem to flow and be better understood with fewer “blocks”. Threat assessment is decreased significantly. Feelings of personal power arise when interacting with other people. My mood also improved a lot as a consequence of reduced physical pain.

In the book, Esther Gokhale hints that there is a direct correlation between poor (or “submissive”) posture and “submissive” tendencies such as depression and anxiety. She fails to commit to this statement however, and for good reason: such a statement is practically impossible to prove scientifically, and I feel she is keen to protect her method from being seen as drifting into the realm of pseudoscience. I suspect however that Esther is well aware of the link between posture and mood, and that this was a primary motivator for getting her method into the public domain in such a well thought through and polished form.

Getting Taller

Another astonishing benefit of the postural exercises taught in the book were my increase in height. In two weeks following the book’s arrival, I gained 2.2cm (just under an inch). This height increase came purely as a result of straightening my post-industrial “S-shaped” spine to a more Esther Gokhale-approved “J-shaped” spine.

Reduced Pain

Most importantly, I have experienced reduced pain in my life from ingraining the new postural habits taught in the book and by performing exercises such as Stretchlying and Stretchsitting daily. The book has therefore succeeded in its core goal of reducing pain.

Improved Exercise

One area where fixing my posture has really helped is in my learning to enjoy exercise. I have a history of joining gyms then stopping going because I don’t enjoy it. It turned out that my sloppy posture while exercising was causing me pain which was stifling my pleasure and therefore stopping me creating the psychological connection between exercise and feeling good. Since I had recently joined a gym around the time I received the book, I began putting my new postural technique into practice while at the gym. This was very successful. I stopped hurting myself while running, using the cross-trainer and lifting weights. I was able to begin enjoying exercise, and lost a whopping 10kg (22lbs) in around a month and a half. I didn’t even adjust my diet to lose this much weight (in fact, my diet actually became worse since I had recently moved to France and begun eating crêpes every day :)); I just lifted extremely heavy weights and did 20-40 minutes of cardio three times a week. Good posture helped me avoid injury, especially during running, where I had a history of tendinitis.

The Exercises

The exercises are the all-important part of the book. They are laid out in picture form, which meant I had to turn some of the more complex exercises into short mental movies in order to figure them out. Luckily, Esther Gokhale does offer a DVD of the exercises on her website for people who would rather just watch them being performed by real people.

Esther Gokhale also has several videos on YouTube, and I will post links to a couple I found really helpful:

Stretchlying — This an exercise you do at bedtime, and if you find the position relaxing like I do, you may well fall asleep in this position, allowing your spine to be gently stretched throughout the night. This stretching helps decompress discs in the spine. After a few nights spent in this position, I began to wake up without immediate back pain in the morning for the first time since I could remember.

Stretchsitting — This exercise allows a comfortable sitting position which gently stretches the spine as you sit. This exercise is particularly valuable for computer users like myself who wish to minimize damage caused by long periods spent sitting in front of a screen.

Other essential exercises include “Glidewalking”, “Tallstanding” and “Learning to use your Inner Corset”, but you will have to buy the book or the DVD to learn more about these.

Other Products

Esther Gokhale has some other products available on her website at www.egwellness.com. These include a DVD set and her own invention, the Stretchsit cushion.

I haven’t seen the DVD set so I can’t personally review it at this time. However, its sales blurb says it is simply live action recordings of the exercises in the book, so it likely delivers on this.

Esther’s friendly website team however did agree to send me a Stretchsit cushion. If you watched the Stretchsitting video mentioned earlier, you will note that she instructs students to place a folded towel over the back of a standard folding chair. The purpose of this towel is to keep the spine in traction (in other words being gently stretched) while sitting in the designated healthy posture position. The Stretchsit cushion is Esther Gokhale’s own personal invention, and is designed to replace the towel in order to provide more reliable traction. It is essentially a foam pad covered in rubber protrusions which grip the spine in order to keep it in place. It comes with a long, adjustable strap in order to be able to attach it to any chair. I personally found that it required some ingenuity to attach the cushion to a standard folding chair using the strap, and it might be a good idea for a future issue of the cushion to come with an additional form of attachment for standard chair designs. The purpose of the strap as specified in the cushion’s documentation however is to allow the cushion to be attached to car seats. It would, in this case, be attached by wrapping the strap around the headrest, which makes a lot more sense, since it would be difficult to attach the cushion to a car seat without a strap. In any case, I don’t have a car so I couldn’t test this out. :)

One more idea Esther Gokhale mentioned in the book in the ‘Learning to Use Your Inner Corset’ chapter was to somehow acquire an actual corset. This point is made as a passing suggestion, and she does not currently offer a corset in her product range. However, I was able to find a medical corset quite quickly on eBay. Click here to see the exact product I bought. I found wearing the corset to be extremely comfortable, and it definitely provides extra support during sitting, walking and running. Wearing the corset also helped maintain the good postural habits I learned from the book, especially in the early days before they became ingrained.

Conclusion

If you want to become taller, move and stand with more grace and be more attractive, and install healthy postural habits to effectively treat back pain, 8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back is the book for you. The Esther Gokhale Method has had a profound positive impact on my own personal health and postural habits, and on the way I have come to view the psychological role of posture on both the individual and societal level.

I consider 8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back essential reading for anyone serious about personal development who has back pain or postural issues, or who simply wants to learn more about this somewhat overlooked and under-taught topic.

Buy the book on Amazon.com

Visit Esther Gokhale’s website at egwellness.com

Posted in Anxieties & Phobias, Depression, Emotional Management, Health, Reviews, Social Dynamics | 1 Comment

Featured Post: ‘Choosing a long term partner’ — by RyanH

Original thread: http://www.personalpowermeditation.com/forum/social-dynamics/choosing-a-long-term-partner/

RyanH is an interesting guy to read simply because of how much he has changed since starting to write on Personal Power Meditation. He is someone dedicated to discovering the way the world works experientially, and is always updating his ideas and worldview in response to those experiences.

The following post by RyanH is in reply to Bliss, who had asked advice from the board on criteria they would look for in selecting a girl for a long-term relationship — or if indeed there is any circumstance where a long-term relationship is required or even desired. RyanH, like myself and many on the board, has had enough experience with women over the last couple of years to be able to draw his own conclusions about the mating game — in particular, seeing the socially conditioned belief systems we are installed with by default, and challenging their rules, in order to create a new belief system which better serves his own happiness in life. This is what Personal Power Meditation is all about — seeing ‘The Matrix’ for what it is: a series of imposed rules not of our own creation, and challenging those rules where they are seen, through experience, to be untrue or simply unhelpful in manifesting long-term happiness.


I’ve had FBs (fuck buddies) for my last few relationships.  It’s like having a girlfriend except there’s no drama.

I’ve changed my entire “goal” for my sex life.  I used to think about monogamy and whether a girl was the right one for me.  I was falling in love and thinking about long-term partnership.  Now it’s like, I want to be with my FB and she wants to be with me, so we get together.  We’re friends, we have fun, we have great sex, we’re honest with one another, and we literally never argue.  My last 3 relationships have been like this.

But like I said, my goal has changed.  I’m now aiming for playerdom and not monogamy.  A monogamy guy is satisfied when he’s with his girl, and unsatisfied when he’s not.  Me, I don’t care any more.  I like the girls but I don’t need them to be happy.  That doesn’t mean that they don’t make me happy — they do — but it’s not because of them, it’s because they’re girls.

Anyway I still don’t have a lot of “choice”; I’m still just ending up with random girls.  I have a couple of girls in my phone who I slept with, but I’m not attracted to them enough to keep seeing them.  I know they both want to date me.  I guess that counts as “choice”!  I also know a few girls who, if they lived less than 30 min from me, I would have pursued as more than one-time things.

So, my 3 FB relationships have ended up as “girlfriends” but without the drama.  With no unnatural “you’re the one for me, I’ll love you forever!” stuff going on, there’s no unnatural “you’re not the one for me, I’ll hate you forever!” stuff.

The other day I was in bed with my FB and just kept repeating in my head “I love this girl, she’s gonna have my babies”, which got me really hard and energetic…  But I have zero neediness for her.  In fact, the reason I’m not needy is because my goal is NOT to keep her.  It’s actually to MOVE ON from her…  I’m on the hunt for new girls, whether she wants to be with me or not.

This is the “never settle” attitude which seems necessary for being a man.  Always work to improve your job.  Always work to improve your health.  Always work to improve your love life…  Go after what you want.  It’s an eternal hunt.  Happiness isn’t found by getting that job and getting lazy, or getting that girl and settling down, or getting that body then eating ice cream.  Happiness is in the hunt…
Grin Roll Eyes Cool Cheesy Wink Tongue Smiley

Of course, my opinions might change in a few decades…  When I think about settling down, I think about this guy I read about on RSD nation, the father of a poster there.  The father supposedly slept with 1000+ women and eventually got married.  He called his wife “the jewel in my crown”, and never had anything resembling a midlife crisis.  [I’ve been meaning to make a post about all the “naturals” I’ve read about…]

So to recap:  You have the goal of settling down with a girl.  I’m suggesting you just charge full steam ahead with trying to fuck as many as possible, and when you get lonely, bored, or horny, call the best girl you know…  (More likely, she’ll call you, and entice you into getting together.)


Analysis by Illuminatus

I’ve had FBs (fuck buddies) for my last few relationships.  It’s like having a girlfriend except there’s no drama.

I’ve changed my entire “goal” for my sex life.  I used to think about monogamy and whether a girl was the right one for me.  I was falling in love and thinking about long-term partnership.  Now it’s like, I want to be with my FB and she wants to be with me, so we get together.  We’re friends, we have fun, we have great sex, we’re honest with one another, and we literally never argue.  My last 3 relationships have been like this.

I can fully appreciate RyanH’s newfound views on sexual relationships. We are societally conditioned from birth to seek “true love” — “the one”, your “soul mate”. And then to enter into a fully monogamous relationship with that person, “till death do us part”, and to “live happily ever after”. We are lambasted with this mating frame from all social media, from the very earliest days of our lives — from Disney films onwards. I won’t go too much into the source of this frame, but a major clue is religion. Most of the major religions of our time forbid sex before marriage, and prize celibacy and monogamy as the two virtuous choices for our sex lives. This message is strong and pervades all our culture in powerful, invisible ways.

Unfortunately, it neglects to cater for a few inconvenient truths about human mating dynamics:

  • Humans generally want a variety of sexual partners on a deep instinctive level. That’s just good genetic strategy. Even the most monogamous people around will generally still have fantasies or sexual thoughts about others at some time during their monogamous relationships. This is simply a paler manifestation of this drive.
  • Relationships do not necessarily serve the same functions for both the man and the woman. For men, a relationship is predominantly centred around providing him with sexual release. For women, the relationship is predominantly about feeling looked-after and secure. Men and women do seek both of these functions in a relationship, but a man is generally more preoccupied with the sex, whereas the woman is generally more focused on the security. The reason for this is simple: a woman is only reproductively viable during a short period once a month, whereas a man is sexually viable every day, all year round. Men and women’s sex drives reflect this point: a man’s testosterone level, which is a key hormone in raising sexual motivation, is generally higher and a lot more stable all year round, whereas women’s testosterone levels peak during her ovulation period and die down after menstruation. The unfortunate outcome of these differences in focus is often that men will choose to stay in monogamous relationships out of fear that they will lose their sexual release should it end. This can lead to very controlling and jealous behaviours from the man, as his sexual drive is consistently strong throughout the year — and most men are complete slaves to it. The woman on the other hand will primarily fear a loss of security, either material or emotional, should the relationship end. This can also lead to controlling behaviours and jealousy.

The result of these truths is that men and women’s needs within the relationship won’t always align, and strife will eventually ensue when misalignments occur.

RyanH, in these paragraphs above, seems to have found a solution: dissolve the prizing of monogamy as a philosophical relic, and instead choose to communicate with the opposite sex when needs align at that time. What he’s saying, in my opinion, is that it’s perfectly okay for two people to get together when their needs align, then go their separate ways when those needs no longer align, whether that be on the micro-scale (parting ways for a few days or weeks after sex and/or spending some intimate time with one another) or on the macro-scale (ending relationships when they’re no longer right for both parties). No vows, no promises, no “till death do us part”. Simply a response to needs as they arise, with no strings attached. I couldn’t agree more with this sentiment, and this has come from my own personal witnessing of monogamy as a flawed system.

Posted in Featured Posts, Relationships, Seduction, Social Dynamics | 1 Comment

Featured Post: ‘The Narrative is Made Up or How Television Tells You What to Think’ — by MannySter

Original post: http://www.personalpowermeditation.com/forum/general/the-narrative-is-made-up-or-how-television-tells-you-what-to-think/


I did something new today. I decided to watch the football game on mute. As I learn more and more about the intricacies of the game, the more the play-by-play announcers grate on my nerves. Their lack of knowledge of the teams and obvious note-reading was always an insult to my intelligence. Now I realize that they didn’t care about that, as long as I left the sound on.

For a long time I had noticed that announcers, analysts, websites, blogs, and fans constantly spout the same memes about players, teams, etc. This is true everywhere but particularly in football. The groupthink is enormous. Putting the game on mute one time made me realize that every single narrative you take for granted, every “story”, actually doesn’t exist.

The technique is this. They infiltrate your headspace. You watch the game but they tell you what to focus on. They repeat the same words, storylines, opinions, etc. until they become yours. They highlight certain plays so you put your focus on the star (read: marketable) players. They create your opinion for you, and you don’t even know. It flies outside your radar. You think you’re watching the game but you’re not. Your focus is constantly being subconsciously pushed in whatever direction they choose.

Example: “Player A is in his third year out of little-known Y College; it has been an uphill battle for him to make the team and every rush shows his hard work and love of the game”. You watch the player take the handoff and go for 10 yards and think about what a great guy he is — meanwhile the camera zooms in to his helmet so you get a good look at his face. When you watch the game on mute, what really happens is this: The running back (Player A) lines up next to the fullback, the linebackers on the other team fall for a playaction pass due to a great fake by the quarterback, the fullback comes in and creams the safety and leaves a gaping hole for the running back (Player A) to run into, untouched, for an easy 10-yard gain.

But no, Player A is a hard worker so he gets 100% of the credit to the TV audience. Why, because your focus is on him. The NFL incorporates a sideline view as well that does not allow you to see the entire length of the field. This means that somewhere around 50% of what goes on on the field is hidden from the TV audience, making it even easier to twist and distort the narrative to whatever they want.

This does not stop at football or sports. This stretches straight into news broadcasts. Events happen and the networks decide to create the “news”. The media has become the “news”. An event happens and all of a sudden there are 50 cameras and crews around the event. They become part of the event. They push the narrative which ignites the audience. Suddenly the CEO of the company resigns, the police start investigating, protestors start protesting, and viewers start watching and talking. They have made something turn into SOMETHING. Sometimes even nothing turns into SOMETHING.

This relates to our message board like this. Anything that infiltrates your headspace affects where your focus goes. Your focus is everything you talk and think about it. Your focus is the only thing you know. If you’re in a social situation and you’re focusing on a narrative or life story of how you can never get girls, you don’t see the girl giving you the eye in the corner. Even if you see her you think about how she won’t like you once she gets to know you. Your behavior starts to come in line with this. The girl thinks “what the hell” and moves on. Your narrative creates something out of nothing.

If you just walked into that situation with the sound on mute, you would’ve seen a cute girl giving you the eye and went and said “hello” and taken it from there, reacting to the moment with the sound off.

A lot of what I said is a repeat of certain topics on this board such as being present, ignoring your life story, etc. But sometimes saying something a certain way helps people understand it better.

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Review: ‘Sleazy Stories’ by Aaron Sleazy

Having met Aaron Sleazy in real life, it is in some ways hard to imagine that this mild-mannered German is the same deviant who spends his evenings hanging out (sometimes literally) at club nights whose names range from “Trailer Trash” to “Torture Garden”, trawling for pussy. However, having actually joined him on such nights out and witnessed him perform some of his morally dubious yet sexually ostentatious manoeuvres, I can attest that Sleazy Stories is, for the most part, probably a fairly accurate account of the adventures of the world’s top womanizer.

Sleazy Stories joins author and protagonist Aaron Sleazy on his adventures in London circa 2008, for it was around this time that Aaron Sleazy had discovered the men’s movement known as the “Seduction Community”, a collection of online discussion forums with the sole purpose of sharing knowledge on how to most efficiently pull girls. This was the same Seduction Community that was novelized in Neil Strauss’s popular semi-fictional offering The Game. At this time, it was almost accepted truth in the Seduction Community that the necessary time taken from the moment of meeting a girl to having sex with her was between four and ten hours. When Sleazy arrived on the scene however, he quickly turned this notion on its head when he began releasing field reports describing how he had been able to have sex with women in nightclubs within minutes of meeting them – and sometimes in as little as 30 seconds. Thus, Sleazy changed many people’s perceptions of what was truly possible in seduction forever. These field reports then became the basis for the book Sleazy Stories.

Sleazy Stories is a first-person narrative of Sleazy’s time in London during his university placement at the London School of Economics. Its style is very dry and observational, providing a matter-of-fact account of events rather than the sensationalism found in other Seduction Community-related works such as The Game. The writing style therefore reminds me very much of George Orwell’s Down and Out in Paris and London and, like that book, paints the picture of an impartial observer moving within and trying to make sense of a foreign world.

That is where the similarities end however, as I don’t remember George Orwell getting any blowjobs from 16-year-olds in nightclub toilets. For we must remember that, however stoic in his story writing, Sleazy’s single-minded focus is shagging birds, and in the book this becomes a lens through which he begins to view all of life’s events. The result of matter-of-fact observation combined with the single goal of shagging women can only be described as what romance novels would look like if they were written for men: porn, in other words.

The unambiguously titled stories (“Pulling a cokehead from a gay club” and “Recruiting a masterful cocksucker” to name two at random) range from the straightforward (man meets woman, man dances with woman, man fucks woman in club toilet 2 minutes later) to the bizarre (man meets man at train station, man goes on gay date with man, man hastily leaves after having dinner bought for him at expensive restaurant and being propositioned for sex). The stories also show a charming progression in personal skill throughout the book, from the relative naïveté demonstrated in Sleazy’s cack-handed (and doomed) attempt to fuck his university housemate, through to his total domination at club Trailer Trash, making out with six girls in a row and getting jerked off on the dance floor in front of everyone.

While morally bankrupt for the most part, with egomaniacal scenes such as researching one of his conquests on Facebook to find “she was in a relationship, which amused me”, and another moment gleefully reflecting on a different girl, “I taught her how to give proper blowjobs – other men should be grateful for that”, the book also has heart, as Sleazy is not afraid to describe his several failures and his frustrations in trying to find out what went wrong. Sleazy also deep down cares for the girls he seduces, and many a sad moment is spent in reflection of his girls’ feelings: “When I think back, I consider it a shame because you don’t often meet girls you really like, and I really liked her. She would have deserved to be treated better.”

Sleazy Stories does have some literary weirdness about it. Firstly, Sleazy is a native German speaker, and while American slang is predominantly used throughout the book, at one point he suddenly decides to call somebody a “twat” (a decidedly British insult, thus reflecting his time spent in London). Additionally, some of the sex acts in the book are described with such Teutonic precision as to be almost medical. These quirks of language, although most likely unintentional, are actually rather hilarious in my opinion. Whether they are a point of criticism or whether they add to the flavour of the book, however, is up to the reader to decide. Secondly, due to the repetitive nature of the book (each story essentially being about a dude going to a club to try and fuck somebody), the book is at times best read spaced out over a longer period. Other times however it can be a real page-turner, so it is a bit of a mixed bag.

Sleazy Stories, unlike most books connected to the Seduction Community, is not a self-help book. This book will not tell you step-by-step how to pick up girls. It is a novel about sex, debauchery and breaking social norms. However, it does have merit in the realm of personal development on two points:

  1. Through simply looking at the world through the eyes of Aaron Sleazy, you may well start to think, feel and behave like Aaron Sleazy. For example, while on a night out during my time first reading Sleazy Stories, I was in a bar talking to a girl I had met just moments earlier when the thought suddenly crossed my mind: “I should probably finger her now”. The pornographic consequences of the chain of events that followed would be worthy of its own chapter in Sleazy Stories.
  2. If you have not yet been exposed to the full extent of the debauchery going on behind the scenes in bars and clubs, or in the sexual sphere in general, this book will go a long way towards showing you “what women are really like”, shattering any preconceptions you may have about “good” and “bad” girls in the process, and showing you that the line between them is blurred if not non-existent.

Sleazy Stories, while not without its flaws, is shocking, hilarious, and will change your reality forever.

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Sleazy Stories is available at the following links:

Paperback
Amazon.com
Amazon.co.uk
Amazon.ca
Amazon.de
Amazon.fr
Amazon.co.jp
Barnes & Noble
BookDepository.com

E-book (Amazon Kindle)
Amazon.com
Amazon.co.uk
Amazon.de
Amazon.fr

Posted in Reviews, Seduction, Social Dynamics | Comments Off

Interview with Aaron Sleazy

Earlier this year I was pleased to interview author and seduction expert Aaron Sleazy for Interesting Times magazine.

Here I am pleased to offer you the full, unedited interview, discussing the mind of Aaron Sleazy and how he has used meditative methods for over 16 years to achieve excellence in his endeavours, including seduction which he is most renowned for.

Click here to read the full interview.

Posted in Emotional Management, Interviews, Meditation, Seduction, Social Dynamics | Comments Off